Secrets
by writerintheday
Summary: Raven isn't as happy with being Apple's secret girlfriend than it seems. And Apple notices.


The secret is killing her.

Everything else about the relationship is perfect, Raven thinks. She loves Apple. She absolutely adores everything about the blonde princess. She loves waking up sometimes to find that Apple has shifted to her bed in the night. She loves holding hands in silence after a hard day, or hearing her partner add in 'sweetheart' or 'baby' in sentences when they are alone. The small kisses in between classes are the ones Raven looks forward to most, and she admits that she craves the other girls touch often when they are not together.

It's just that the secret part of the relationship is eating her alive.

Raven has waited so long, felt so many emotions and feelings for Apple. And now that she finally has the girl in question, she doesn't think it's fair that she can't hold her hand in public. She hates how Apple jerks away when she puts an arm around her in the hallways, and how she leans away from her touch when Raven wants to stroke her hair sometimes. Raven can't help it, really- she's so attracted to the other girl that she forgets how Apple doesn't want to be seen in a relationship with her. It's not her, Apple has reassured her many times. It's just that she cannot be seen as a rebel in a time where royals need her more than ever.

Raven still feels hurt every time she is ignored, though. She knows that Apple needs to maintain her image and be a picture perfect princess, and she knows how important it is that Apple appears loyal to Daring, her 'fairytale prince.' But she still wants Apple to be there for her no matter where they are.

 _It's not fair_ , Raven thinks bitterly as she watches Apple laugh with the rest of the Royals. _I deserve someone who wants to show me off to people and is proud of being with me. I deserve someone who wants all of me all the time, public or not._

The violet eyed girl feels guilty immediately, and flushes in shame. She can't change the fact that they can't be seen together in public- although she despises it. And it isn't Apple's fault at all. Maybe someday in the future they can be together openly, but not now. No one can know now.

Raven still feels sad inside, though.

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It hurts the most, Raven thinks, when Apple denies being associated with Raven. They can't be seen as too close, obviously, or people will start to wonder. But still- sometimes when Apple comments something, Raven finds herself sometimes believing it.

"How close are you and Raven?" a reporter will ask, and Apple will smile and say that they are just casual roommates and pretty much close enough to be considered friends, and that she's very excited to be poisoned by the girl and fulfill her destiny. That's the part where Raven goes and cries in her room beneath the covers. She starts believing that Apple has secretly never had feelings for her and has just went out with her to convince Raven to poison her. She thinks that the two are going to break up and that Apple thinks Raven as clingy and annoying.

Of course, the famous princess does not know this. Raven is always careful to clean herself up before she sees the girl, and she's going to keep it that way.

The insecurities and the way she feels about the hiding? It's _her_ secret.

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When Raven sees Snow White during the Dragon Games, her heart breaks at how Apple is treated. She is nothing more than something to be portrayed as socially perfect to Snow White. The queen is only interested in how her daughter looks to the public. That's when Raven finally gets why this relationship being secret is so important- it's enough that Apple is with her, and they cannot risk people being suspicious.

Raven hates society and its idea of 'perfect.' It's harsh and horrible and suppressing who people really are. And she wishes with all of her heart that it- whatever that might be- stops.

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Raven and Apple's fingers meet under the table, indicating a small finger kiss. No one sees, and even if they did, they would not know what it meant. Raven loves this, a little piece of their relationship that no one can figure out. These are the small things in the relationships that makes everything better. This is the part of the secret that Raven likes- knowing that Apple is hers and hers completely and Raven is hers, and only the two of them know it.

The two girls share a smile, full of promises and care. And they know that the other is in it for as long as they both can be.

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Raven understands why the two of them are a secret, but really, Apple could be a bit more considerate about it.

Why exactly would she wear something so revealing and tight and pretty that Raven needs every fiber of her being to not go and kiss her so hard she forgets everything else?

Raven takes in every inch of her, lingering on her red lips- a bit darker than usual- and the way her short dress hugs her breasts in an incredible way. She takes a deep breath in, making herself stay at her seat. She is just a few minutes from lunging across the table and grabbing her and attacking her lips with her own.

Instead, Apple makes eye contact with her secret girlfriend and bites her lip in the slowest, most seductive way that Raven has ever seen.

Raven gapes. Her eyes wide, she feels Apple's heeled shoe brush her boots.

In a few minutes, the couple is in a position that can only be called eye fucking.

Yes, this secret thing is definitely driving Raven crazy.

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Today is one of those days, when Apple is the one falling apart. It's when the delicate girl is worried about her destiny and how disappointed her mother would be in her and what her future subjects would see her as.

Raven holds her in the privacy of their dorm, rubbing her back and letting the smaller girl sniffle into her shoulder. She whispers reassurances into her hair, letting her know that she will always be there for Apple. This, she knows, is what the fair princess needs to hear most right at this moment.

It's a while later, close to bedtime, when Raven decides to blurt, without thinking, 'Do you ever plan to tell people about this or is it gonna be a secret forever?"

The girl regrets it as soon as the words leave her mouth. Apple is in such a fragile state that there could not have possibly been a worst day to bring this up.

Apple fixes her steady gaze on the other girl. "What do you mean?"

"It's just- um- how long are you planning to keep us a secret. You know what? Never mind. That was a stupid thing to say. Ignore that. Whatever. So… um… are you all caught up with your thronework?" Raven is rambling now, hoping and praying that Apple doesn't stay on the previous topic.

Apple slowly replies with a 'yes'. Raven continues her mindless chatter, not caring what it's about- just that it is far away from what she was talking about.

But Apple isn't dumb. She's heard the words, seen the flash of heartbreak in her girlfriend's eyes as she said them, and understood.

Raven isn't happy about hiding at all.

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Apple doesn't know when or how to confront Raven about this. She knows that she has to, of course. Much of herself fears that the relationship could go up in red hot flames if she doesn't.

She doesn't like the hiding much either, if she is going to be completely honest. It's just the disappointment of the other Royals, her subjects, and her mother that makes her need to conceal her dating Raven. And that's not even to mention the chaos that would ensue if everyone found out that the number one Royal princess has been rebelling against her destiny. Apple is absolutely terrified of it.

The blonde girl sometimes tells herself that the hiding makes the relationship more special, more precious. She imagines that it is romantic that only the two of them know, that only _they_ have this secret.

But deep down, she knows that the one thing she really wants is to show her girl off.

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Raven is frustrated. Why? Simple. Because Apple has started talking.

She wouldn't normally be frustrated by this, obviously. But the fact that the couple was making out before Apple so rudely pulled apart and started talking certainly makes it frustrating.

Raven can't entirely focus on what the girl is saying. Her head is entirely too much occupied with Apple and her luscious lips and her breasts pushed up against Raven's own and what she would do if Raven unbuttoned just a bit of Apple's dress. She's about to reach for the blue eyed girl and make her shut up when she hears the words 'relationship' and 'secret.'

"Wait- what?" She tunes in abruptly.

Apple looks at her girlfriend and smiles, amused. She knows exactly on what Raven must have been focused and fights back the urge to laugh and kiss her some more. There are some more important things to say before she can do this.

"What we have. It being a secret. That bothers you, doesn't it?"

"What? How did you know that? Oh my fairy godmother, did I say something without knowing while we were kissing?" Raven is wide eyed, fully alert and trying to remember when she might have let this piece of information slip.

Apple smiles. "Raven Queen. I have loved you. I've lived with you. I know you. How could I not? You're my best friend, my other half."

Raven closes her eyes briefly. "Apple, I'm sorry. I know why it's so important to hide thi- us. And I can't ask you to stop. You are the most important thing to me and I could never risk losing you. Never ever. So just forget about it, I'm fine with the whole secret thing. Okay?"

"Not okay." Apple takes Raven's hands and places a kiss on one of them. "This isn't be hidden forever, you know. Just until we figure out the whole destiny slash if you end up poisoning me or not- just until school is over and we've graduated. Then," Apple gently presses her lips to her girl's. "I plan to make sure every person in the kingdom knows who my girl is. Who I, Apple White, am utterly in love with."

Raven settles one hand into Apple's hair and pulls her closer, kissing her deep and slowly. "And make sure that they know that this girl loves her Apple more than they'll every think."

With this matter settled, Apple makes herself comfortable on her girlfriend's lap and goes right back to kissing her breath away.

 **Hello and here is a Rapple one shot for all you lovely readers!**

 **Thank you for reading! A review would make my day :)**


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